364. - Chris & Jason

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week, Jason. Does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. Hello. Good morning. Chris, you got the nice loafers on today. What's up with that? Guten tag. I did decide to wear the... the belgians say i don't know i just i was feeling like a slipper moment um when i left the house and it feels appropriate over here in sleepy glendale that one's tough because you can you can it's like almost invisible the ankle sock but you can still see a little bit shut the fuck up that that's honestly one of the most offensive things you've ever said to me you you claiming that me i was going for blood on that your business partner and known man it was wearing pads known man What's a pet? I've never heard of that. That's like when a woman goes into a high-end shoe store to try on some Manolas, and they give you the gauzy... No, I'm just kidding. I know what they are. I just wanted you to describe what they are. Further making my point, perhaps, that you know more about ankle socks than I do. I've worked in the footwear industry. I sold shoes as a young buck, and that obviously is imprinted deeply into my psyche. So the Chanel Flats, that's about as loose as it gets in terms of... of being able to cover it. That shows the most top foot. Yeah, there's nothing. I don't know, man. People are like, how do you wear loafers without socks? Because the other option is not actually an option because you look like a bozo. Unless you're Chloe Sevigny, you're wearing little frilly white socks on a female. That's very different. But on a fella, you pull up in some, what, you put on the Nike socks with the loafers? That's crazy. Yeah, some shoes you just got to go. You just got to do it. And, you know, if they're made well.

it's fine if they're made well and if you rotate them as long as they're not the same shoe that you wear every day i mean i've i don't none of my shoes just in terms of stinky none of these shoes smell none of my shoes like that smell because if they're if they're well made the interior is is is leather and so it's usually a little less it's not like my jack purcells in eighth grade no that we're smelling crazy it's not like your vans during puberty no Yeah, I was talking about this with Bae. She was saying like when you're younger, like a hormonal teen, that's when your feet smell the most. And then when you're an adult, it's like acne. Yeah, it just kind of goes away. It used to be a real problem back in high school though because everyone wore – it was like you couldn't wear socks. That was social suicide. It still is. That's what I'm trying to say. It still is for a lot of people. But now that I have lived with my body for millennia at this point. Nice pivot there. For eons, I know what my body looks like, and I need a sock a lot of times. Oh, like it helps you, like your appearance. It completes the look. The look that you have right now, like a five-inch Nike inseam short with these nice loafers, no sock. There's a lot of legs. There's a lot of skin being exposed, and my legs are so odd-looking and long. That you need. It's kind of like floorboards on a wall. I look unfinished without a sock. I love you comparing yourself to a simple wall. That does a lot for me. I can use other ornamental adornment metaphors. You're never lacking in examples, but that's good to know because I thought you just wore socks for comfort, which I think is a nice bonus, but I see what you mean. There's too much real estate, and leaving it uncovered could cause problems. Yeah, when your proportions are all off, you have to rethink everything, man, if you have a full-size mirror.

I think the key to that, I think the answer is just get a shoulder-up mirror. Let it spray. I don't have a full-length mirror in my New York apartment. Never have. Really? No. It's a thing that guys might not ever get. It's not like I'm changing my look so frequently that it's like, oh, damn, I really need to see how this looks. I've never felt like I had enough self-esteem to need a full-length mirror. That's a great point. Maybe that's what it is. I feel so bad about myself, I don't want to see what's going on below about shoulder height. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's kind of like I don't want to go to the doctor and get a full tip-to-tail checkup because I don't really need to know everything going on. That information is not welcome here. That information is not welcome. I've come this far. Yeah, I'm good. I've done just fine without knowing what... parts of my body look from certain angles and it's better that way it is better that way the more i know how i look the more i will go out or the less i'll go outside and interact with humans i just think as you get older the the even if it's not like a full uniform dressing it's always still kind of a uniform dressing you know what i mean also like once i see myself once in the pants it's like all right that's what the pants look like yeah like obviously you know what i mean like obviously pairing it with the top will change but i just think it's a little I just think if I had a full-length mirror, I don't know. I just don't feel comfortable with it. It does more harm than good. Yeah, I just don't think it's... It's like weighing yourself. I'm just all set. If I feel good and I look good, I'm happy. I don't need to know more. Every time I've moved in with a goddamn female, though... Oh, you know they got that Ikea mirror. The full-length mirror goes in before, like... The bed. That's right. Sweetie, we're going to be sleeping on the couch tonight, but the mirror is there. The amount of times I've had to stud find to hang a full-length mirror. For all of my romantic escapades over the years. Yeah, Stud Fine does sound like a romantic escapade, but not the kind that you're talking about. I haven't dropped a mirror since. That's good. They hold tight. That's good. I know that you use your leveling app on your iPhone just like Tim the Tool Man Taylor. It's no problem for you. I'm addicted to the leveling app because it was made...

It's a first-generation app. I've had it since 2007. I think it's one of the first apps you could get. Yeah, it was one of the first apps that kind of blew people's minds because everyone was like, oh, I have Twitter and Facebook on my phone. They're like, that's crazy, but I can wrap my head around it. But then using the iPhone as a tool where it's like there's not a computer inside that's showing you. The computer is physically itself the tool, and I was leveling. so much shit bro it sounds cool as a person who's never used a leveler in his entire life um i don't even you know what i'm thinking about this and this is probably embarrassing to admit i don't even know if i've used a drill come on bro i'm dead serious maybe once or twice i've used a hammer to open a coconut in pump springs or something i usually like like them to do that for me just because i don't want to waste any of the precious expensive you're better at it than i am yeah exactly i maybe even use a drill once or twice but the thought of having the The leveler and the drill and just being able to hang a mirror. It's a foreign concept. Can't be me. Can't be me. Yeah, so we're unedited live from Glendale. That's right. It's the 3rd of July. That's right. We're celebrating America. If I see one more of those fucking posts, America doesn't deserve a birthday this year. You're getting muted. So on this side of Spotify and Apple, we celebrate the stars and bars. Well, I mean, look, has America ever deserved a birthday? Like, I don't think that's – I don't think so. So this is no different than that. Has any country deserved a birthday? I've also been seeing a new movement to stop fireworks because of the sustainability issues and the emissions that they emit. I'm like, okay, guys. Like, come on. Let's do – let's tackle the – The Instagram post. Because there's a key word that I've seen, and I don't disagree with that. I think it's tough to celebrate our country's independence and freedom now during all of these. When there's less freedom. As our freedoms continue to get taken away from us. Dissipated. And it has only gotten worse, not better. But those messages, they all say the word frankly in them.

Like, frankly, I don't think we deserve a birthday party for our country this year. It also feels like the kind of thing that's a Twitter screenshot repurposed for Instagram if it's not done in the millennial design style. There's only two ways it's going, and both of those are offensive to me. Yeah, and it is virtue signaling into preaching into the choir because nobody – all the people that follow, like you and I, follow all these people who feel the need to post that, and we obviously agree, and we're not pissed off. This is where I'm at with all this shit. Donate money and shut the fuck up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't talk about it anymore. Don't post anymore. Just donate money. My policy is to throw money at the problem, and that goes into all realms of my life. There's a hundred different things you could do. Choose the one that does the most and does the best job, and then that's all you have to worry about. Because I'm telling you right now, if you prioritize what does the best job, posting on Instagram to people that agree with you is maybe the last on the list. It is the last on the list, but it's the highest reward to the least amount of work. So everyone's going to pick the easiest thing to do. I mean, it's just crazy what people think works. It's crazy. Like, well, basically the problem is nothing works and that's the real issue. But I think giving money... But we can't be completely... No, we can't be completely blackpilled. I think giving money to me just seems like the most reasonable thing to do. Whereas, like... I just don't like protesting. Sorry, guys. It never works. It's the same as talking about news and politics on our podcast. We've always said, like, leave it to the pros. We're not going to talk about this shit because there's a thousand Peabody Pulitzer winning podcasts. There's people who know what they're talking about. And if you want to listen to the daily, that's your problem. Go listen to those people for that stuff. And we'll do this other stuff. And the same thing applies to this. We don't know the best way to do. We don't know the best way to help.

Planned Parenthood, these people do. Give them the tools that they need to do it. Set up a reoccurring donation. That's what I like to do. Set it and forget it. Just like some people's Patreons. Yeah, exactly. You're paying $5 a month for all these shitty podcasts. You know what I mean? Let's pay $5 a month to help women. Just like my Equinox training when they're like, oh, after I buy 12. sessions they'll auto charge me for 12 more that's so nice that's an interesting thing that you have built in yeah instead of option i got billed for something i got billed for some some like a like an app that i pay for for interviews because it like records the call you know what i mean i was like i'm paying nine dollars and 99 cents a month for four and a half years and i haven't used this i've never noticed it before like god damn it they got me again And I did go cancel it, and I have to say it was easier to cancel than I thought it would be because sometimes they really make canceling it hard. It's like deleting Facebook. They really try to make it as hard as possible. But I was able to do it, so now I'm saving. I'm just big saving. But I'm sure you were writing it all off before and showing your accountant all of that information. Yeah, definitely. What was the second thing that we were talking about where I was like I wanted to talk about the frankly part and then the second part of that coin? My brain totally forgot. I don't know. How many edibles did you take before this podcast? None. I think we were just tired last night from all of our steakhousing. Yeah, we went to Jar Restaurant. Also, if you listen to this podcast for the first time now because you came here from John Early, welcome. I don't know if John Early is that famous. He's not that famous, but he is beloved. He is beloved, and I get it all now. I understand it completely, and I love him myself. I would love to go to Jar. But after he mentioned Jar, Jar is like a West Hollywood, kind of 90s steakhouse. I got to say, we went last night with Oberg, loved every minute. Not just because the company was fantastic, but also the onion rings. All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable.

And they're just easy, but still put together. I don't want to look like a slob. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. They focus on high-quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Breathable linen and soft organic cottons. Well-made basics, but without the luxury markups. That rare balance where everything feels elevated. but still effortless. Yeah, Chris, linen season is here. I wore a linen blazer to dinner a few nights ago in the warm California sun. But, you know, you got that Italy trip coming up this summer and quality European linen pants and shirts. Upgrade that look starting at just $34. You know, if you get a nice linen suit, a little t-shirt underneath it, some chill shoes, you're looking good, but you're staying cool. The inside of your special areas are nice and dry as you turn up with your besties. So elevate that summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash how long for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, even on a nice holiday now available in Canada. That is Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash how long. That'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince punto com slash how long. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's trying to slow down. the news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world and i know you particularly have quite a lot of questions a lot of questions but how often because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot how many times do they do three times a week and i i have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do that's just a guess the guardian is not some billionaire owned They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? Especially when it's not from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. Oh, this is huge for me personally. This episode of How I'm Gone.

It was brought to you by TaskRabbit. Oh, baby, let me tell you something. This is not a joke. I use TaskRabbit a lot because I can't do anything. You need some art hung? TaskRabbit. You need something put together? A cabinet? Got to reach that cheese grater on the top shelf? TaskRabbit. Anything you need, TaskRabbit can take care of it for you. How it works, TaskRabbit connects you with skilled taskers in your area. They can help you move. They can assemble furniture, repairs, yard work, mounting, and more. You can search for a tasker based on cost, skill set, availability, and past client reviews so you know exactly who's showing up and can have confidence that they know what they're doing because taskers have assembled over 3.4 million pieces of furniture, completed 700,000 home repairs. handled 1.5 million moves, and the numbers are just going up, Jason. Yeah, throw a little money at the problem. It's not so expensive, and that job that you really don't want to do is something that another person out in the world is very good at doing and would gladly do it in exchange for a little bit of money. So when life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get $15 off your first task at TaskRabbit.com or grab the TaskRabbit app. using promo code howlong. Taskers book up faster, especially for same-day tasks. So book Trusted Home Help today. That is $15 off your first task using promo code howlong with the TaskRabbit app or at TaskRabbit.com. That reminds me of a bygone era of restaurants where you can just like go into a restaurant and eat. Yeah. Without doing 30 to 60 days of lead prep work. Yeah, there was no lead prep. There's no let me take your temperature. Please sit on the curb. Oh, we'll be right with you. It was literally like you walk up to the table. They walk up to the hostess stand. They walk you to the table immediately, and then service commences, and it's good, and it's all done on a toast.

thing no mistakes no mistakes and nobody nobody says The chef asks that we put the whole order in together. Nobody says, have you ever done with us before? Because they assume that you've been to a restaurant before. There's no part on the jar 20th anniversary menu where you can check a box to donate a six-pack to the kitchen. Most importantly, that was not there. But I just loved it. It was comfortable. My chair had wheels on it, which was very fun for me. Everyone there was... At least 75. We were the youngest people there, which is rare for us. It was very similar. We've been doing a lot of dining events where we are in the minority. First, the Tom of Finland event. We were the only straight people there. That's right. Oh, we haven't talked about that, right? Have we? Oh, yeah, we have. We briefly touched on it. Yeah, we were the only straight people there. And I would say... And last night, we were the only people who were not receiving or eligible for Social Security benefits. Yeah, we didn't have an emergency necklace on that you push a button if you fall. We were the only people in there who have not received a proctology exam, which, of course, then led to pancreatitis. Yeah, that's what we need to fucking talk about. but jar is great go there it was excellent it was a great meal actually i was thinking the problem is as soon as you start talking about you know it's just like oh we went to this restaurant called balthazar and it was like old school vibes and it was aesthetic af and then next thing you know that restaurant becomes we did though we did have an interesting encounter at jar and we'll talk about that and then we'll talk about Yeah, my pancreatitis. With Travi. Yeah, we sit down at the table, and we're having a conversation. And look, no one's arguing that I speak loudly, but I don't think I was at my Chris Max volume. No one was speaking too loudly. This was 6.30 p.m., sun still shining. 6.30 p.m., also holiday weekend, which I also...

Talked about this last night, but it's interesting because in New York, a holiday weekend like this, the city clears out, and that's part of the appeal of staying. But as you pointed out, in L.A., because it's fucking nice all the time, no one leaves. Yeah, it's like, oh, Fourth of July is here. Maybe I'll go somewhere, sit in the backyard, and oh, I just already have that. Oh, maybe I'll go to my other house in Malibu that's 45 minutes away and not get in the ocean, but I will have a barbecue. Have a barbecue, hang out by the pool. But yeah, so we sit down and there's this, you know, I clocked her because she seemed freaky and maybe our age. She was also the only other person that wasn't 75. She was around our age. She was sitting alone at a two-top and her table was covered in papers and other personal effects. And then the banquette where maybe a... fellow diner would normally be seated was covered in uh unhoused person style bags yeah so if you have worked in retail before like chris and i have and you and you see people who are sort of compulsive returners and store credit mafia where they have the nordstrom's bag that they got in 2017 and they've been reusing it since then tattered couldn't be more worn You know, it looks like it was just found on the street or something. And then that's just their bag that they used for years. So it looks like they really did buy it. And she had all of that. She probably had four plastic crumpled bags filled with. notebooks and legal documents. Stuff. So we're probably some Beanie Babies and shit in there. There's definitely a Beanie Baby. There's a Princess Dan had Beanie Baby. She could have gotten 304 buried in the bottle in one of those bags. She fucked up. But we're talking about John. We're actually talking about John and him talking about the restaurant. We're talking about how the show went and blah, blah, blah. And she just goes, John! You know, my best friend is Chris D'Elia.

Because we were saying that John's a comedian, and I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then she just is like, continue. She's like, Chris D'Elia, I've known him for 13 years. He's like my big brother. He's like my big brother, which is. Obviously weird, but also... And we're like, yeah, we've heard of Chris D'Elia. The fact that you picked the guy that has been canceled for grooming that wears Yeezys and drives a G-Wagon is the weirdest choice. Like, it almost made me believe that it was true because it's such a weird choice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was like, this is my trump card. This is what I'm... This is the biggest thing in my arsenal to impress this group. My favorite part about this interaction was I thought because she was so weird, Jason was going to go into full Jason Sicko mode and really... Put the spurs to this old cow. Yeah, like, oh, you want to do this? We can do this. And instead, we kind of politely shut it down. And then we bring up someone named Jeremy, I think. And she again says, Jeremy Pippen? And Jason just goes, Jason just looks at her and goes, all right, we're done here. And she just... She knew. She obeyed. We thought she was crazier than she was because she took a command much like beautiful Bean and his kind of reclamation to society. But then I looked over during our meal to try to catch a glance. And first of all, she was entering and exiting the restaurant five to six times and not in like a I'm doing coke way, in like a I'm manically smoking a cig outside way. But she also – she's writing furious notes, obviously, because I'm sure she's working on her script or some of her comedy. She had a novelty pen writing instrument with a kind of cartoonish Donald Trump head where the eraser – Like a small plastic bobblehead of good 45. It would be like – it looked like a gift you would receive at a baseball game, and it would have like A-Rod's head on it. But instead it was 45. It was Nomar bobblehead day pen.

childhood pendant exactly and then i was like once i clocked that i was like oh man i am really happy that we did not engage with this woman because i that could have gone but then i was thinking about her life you know and kind of what how did she get to this place she's eating in a fairly expensive restaurant alone they obviously there seemed to be she seemed like she had it was the it was the twisted combo of you look like you're a put together person of means like your family is probably wealthy and you've sort of fallen by the wayside mentally in some some way or something bad has happened to you traumatically and now you are both unhoused and no the vibe i chose i pegged it perfectly i believe dad famous producer maybe granddad famous producer dad famous producer long lineage of money she has been My uncle wrote Dances with Wolves. Yeah, she's had problems, but she finished college, and then it was kind of downhill after that. She never really made anything of herself. There is a monthly allowance that the family office kind of bestows upon her. There's an American Express card. But it did feel like, I don't know if this restaurant does this, but it did feel like there was a house account. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It felt like a house account vibe. I don't know if Jar does that, but it is the kind of place that would, I think. It is. It is. And that's another reason why we love it, that bygone era. It's the kind of place where she could receive a phone call and they'll bring the house phone out on a silver platter and the long cord from the kitchen. It's your father. He said, not another tomahawk. Honey, the tomahawk is for two, sometimes three. Yeah. We're worried about you. It was just a really weird – of all the places for that kind of thing to happen, that is where I least expected it. And I also didn't see her kind of chiming in on other diners' conversations. Maybe it was because ours was the most relevant. Or we were just within the closest earshot. Yeah. I think it's that. And it's also she's probably been to that restaurant a thousand times. And everyone else in that restaurant is a regular. And they're like, oh, that's crazy, Stephanie. Don't talk to her. And then her dad's on the phone just like, yeah, just give her what she fucking wants. Just tell her to stay. As long as she doesn't come back home for dinner. I know the Merlot is $5.50, but whatever. Get out of the cellar. And she knows that everyone else there is like onto her vibe and has shunned her. We were a new victim. We were a new victim.

Fresh fish on the line is what she thought. The meal was good. I had a great time. The vibe was great. We'll be going back. It did make me feel bad to sort of shut somebody down like that, kind of. It kind of got me. I've never, ever seen you do that. It's very crisp behavior. So it kind of was nice that for once in my life, I wasn't the dickhead to a stranger. Good, good. And it was the right decision. It was the right decision. I knew that we had to nip this in the bud because even if she had her Donald Trump pen out and she was clearly crossing out things on her restraining order paperwork that her niece created about her because she quote-unquote killed one of her rabbits or whatever. I know you said you didn't wreck the Audi, but... You were driving it. You didn't wreck the Audi, but you did spray paint whore on the hood of my S4. I told your dad not to give you anything sharp, and you still keyed my car. And I know that even if she never said a peep and she never looked at me, just feeling that energy in your peripheral vision, you have to nip it in the bud or else. It's going to ruin the meal. It's going to ruin my dining experience. It's going to ruin the meal. I want to hear about Oberg's. four-month European vacation in peace while I enjoy my gym lettuce, Caesar. I want to hear about the top ten gyms in Paris. Exactly. Straight from the horse's mouth. What am I going to do? But, yeah, I mean, the other issue I've been tackling this week that's been really tough for me is kind of Travis's health. Yeah. So we had a big scare down at Cedars. It's been almost a week now, hasn't it? It's been almost a week. And it might feel like old news to some of you, but I was really baffled. at the way the media handled Travis Barker having a very routine procedure. Having your pancreas removed. Yeah. Basically, they milked it like he was going to die for multiple days. Still are, probably. It blew my mind, the way that it was handled. It's literally like, this motherfucker with face tattoos and a fucking Misfits t-shirt had a stomach ache.

After getting a voluntary colonoscopy with his chick, that's nasty. You don't get a colonoscopy with your chick. Wait, it was a couple's colonoscopy? I think they do everything together. I feel like they literally do everything together. So, like, she couldn't not sit, like, piggyback on the front style, licking his neck for five minutes. So he could bend over and get some fucking Tom of Finland silicone lube in there. Yeah, but the media was just like, it was literally like touch and go, touch and go, we don't know what it is. We don't know what's happening. What if they really didn't know? Because whenever you see, and also Travis is now one of the, he's royalty now, so they're going to milk anything they can out of him. He's also a media whore, so he loves it. No, no, I think what happened is, I think the master, Chris, was involved in this. They knew exactly what was happening. They didn't tell the media. They said, all right, we're going to keep this hush-hush for 48 hours, get all the press we can, get people thinking he's going to die. They'll stop talking about Courtney being fat and Kim losing her BBL. Boom. Then once we can't push it any further because a nurse is going to leak it. Wait until Kim's shoot comes out where she's wearing the silver bikini, and then this will all be done. No, I do think that obviously he didn't plan to have his pancreas explode. But I do think that they handled it a certain way so that they could get the longest media tale possible. So Chris is like, we're not going to lie about what happened. We're just not going to say everything that we know. And there's nothing wrong with that, especially on TMZ.com. There's nothing wrong with that. And the fact that when something like medical doesn't leak, that is the most powerful. Like, it's literally, you know nurses. They're like 26-year-old chicks that do coke on the weekend. They're fucking psyched that they're dealing with Travis Barker. The fact that TMZ didn't give one of these chicks $1,000 when she was getting into her Mazda M3 to go back to Studio City is crazy. When that article in The New Yorker came out about how TMZ works, I was like, damn, these people get –

The Whitney Houston hotel room photo only cost 10 bands? This is fucking cheap. A small potato. It's like the housing market. It's only gone up. Exactly. So the fact that the underground network of information sharing didn't release this means that Kris Jenner is more powerful than we even realize. She knows how to edge. Yeah. Knows how to edge a story. It makes sense. I mean, I feel bad for him because when you hear he's being rushed to the hospital, and you're and you're looking at me like i don't think it's drugs but the brain just starts looking at him and you're like he do be looking sickly though like he just looks unhealthy i think but i think he's like the kind of thing where it's like oh i've i've had cancer this whole time and i didn't tell anyone he also looks he also just looks like a vegan like he looks like an old vegan that's like what happens to you Kind of. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, because he's got to be, he's older than us. I mean, he's got to be closer to 50, right? Yeah, for sure, for sure. So he's probably like 50, and like the Dag Nasty tattoo is starting to sag a little bit. But he looks good overall, but he does look a little ghostly and like very thin. But I think that's natural kind of combined with a vegan diet. Yeah, because when you have that aging going on and everyone's like, oh, my salt and pepper's coming in. Do I diet or do I let it free flow? He's probably shaving his entire body every morning. Well, somebody's doing it for him. Somebody is doing it for him. So once things start to go, then his skin will be kind of yellowy and certain things that you can't control. Courtney and Trav have worn out their welcome. You know what I mean? I just think it's, like, we get it. It's cool. But, like, I just don't, like, this kind of stuff is just too. And we love love. I mean, we love love. This is just a little too much for me. This was too much for me. But also. She crawls on him like a spider monkey at, like, an Australian animal reserve park. I mean, literally, it's like, bitch, get off me. But he likes it. And he also, like, she weighs more than him. Oh, yeah. He's not.

I don't know about his core, but he looks good. He don't look strong. The Dickies will be sliding off. He's going to have to fold the waist like a hot TikToker. The Dickies on his little skinny little frame. I would love to see the side-by-side of Kim K's measurements and Travis's measurements. Kim K is just like 42, 24, 42, and he's... 20. 24, 24, 24. I do think Kim and Chloe have had their BBLs removed in a body shift that could change our entire culture. It's like a vibe shift for the body. It could be the end of the giant butt. I think we went too far in the other direction, and now we're kind of coming back down to planet Earth. If Heroin Sheik comes back, then my plan worked. This is all you. You're the Wizard of Oz. I've been holding the line when everybody else was shorting Heroin Chic. I stayed in. And I think it's going to pay off. Just like me and my doge. Exactly. I just think it's going to pay off. There's a light that never goes out. Because what the theory is, Kim has... First of all, I saw somebody say she's Caucasian again with a K. But no, I think that she... Basically, the plan was she lost all this weight to wear the Marilyn dress, but she gets it removed during the weight loss campaign so that it's less noticeable. 5D chess. It's honestly so cool. It's so cool. It's smooth. I mean, I agree with the vibe shifting happening because the one that I heard yesterday from what Carolyn was saying, that certain people are having nose jobs reversed now. So TJ was right the whole time. So I don't, the thing is like when you have a, you know, you get your ass or tits done, you have like implants inside of your body that you could then go in and have them removed. But with the nose job, you're going to have to go in and add product to your body. So it's like, it's basically like a full on reconstructive surgery. Yeah, that's weird. You're right. They have to, they have to put the rind back on the Parmesan. That seems stupid.

Well, I mean, because people are like, I want to hold on to my heritage. I want to be proud of the way my body was made. Oh, I see. They've spun it into. I've abandoned my true self by getting this perfect little Sidney Sweeney nose when we all know that I was the Simi Hayes before pick. So I want to know. So like someone's, it is way too much. It's like I have to go in and it's not like. Getting a tattoo removed where you're like, I have to suffer through this thing. And then it's out of my system. This is, I go in, you cut your face open. And then you add things to it. I don't even, I just like, this is why plastic surgery is so interesting. It's because it's like, you can have everything reversed. So it's like, what? I just like that. The thought of it. Sounds a lot like our Supreme Court. No, exactly. But the nose thing is just like, that to me is like. I don't know. That feels less cosmetic, even though it's not. Yeah, it does feel less cosmetic. It feels less cosmetic. But I think that Kim getting the butt removed, it's also pretty interesting. She's dating a white boy now. I mean, and also his waist size. Is it possible that Pete, even though he has a giant penis, said, this is too much. I can't handle this. Yeah, it's like... He said, you're throwing it back at me and I'm falling off the cloud couch. My dick is LeBron, but I still need... I can't beat a whole team by myself. Like, I'm the best dick around. But I ain't got Kevin Love. I ain't got JR. Yeah, it's like if I'm in the subway and there's 10, 16-year-olds, like, they'll probably kick my ass. That's right. It's just a numbers game. That's right. And Kim's ass... The centimeters, it's just so... Cam reducing her ass size is truly worthy of a 10,000 word white paper on how it's going to affect society and why it's happening. And I find that both titillating and depressing. It is, it is. I think that it needed to happen because having a big fat ass is great and I think it's cool.

but obviously you can go too far and we see it all the time. And I think that's the thing. I think that's the thing is that it, if I think like they kept pushing it and kept pushing and kept pushing it. And it was literally like a balloon that was going to explode. And they're like, all right, we got to walk it. That's like the sound bite on the documentary under the scalpel. We got to walk it back. Cause it's like, what, where do we, where do we go? Yeah. It's like when you see the, the people who have like tits that are the size of a fucking giant watermelon or something, you know, just like, 50-pound tits. Like, what are we doing here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or, like, all the people who have so much plastic surgery that they just die. Will the lip be next? Yeah, the lip makes sense. And also, with all this stuff, like, when you get the titties done, just do a little bit. Yeah. Why do we have to go so crazy? Why do we have to go so crazy? Have it be plausible because it should be a little embarrassing that you got plastic surgery done. When I got my calves done, I made sure it wasn't too much. And it's kind of aged nicely. And I made sure to get you those camber sweatpants for when you had to go around and you needed a little extra breathing room. That's what it was. I was like, can you get an XL? They're swollen. I'm like, oh, what kind of socks are you wearing? And I go to pull the pants up. I'll be like, no, no, no. Don't look at me. My bandages. Speaking of calf implants, I was at the gym and I saw, you know, that actor Bobby Cannavale. Of course. Chicks love him. Chicks really love him. Who's he married? He's married to... Lake Bell? No, no, no. He's married to someone cool. He is married to someone cool. Blonde. I believe she's Australian. Bobby Cannavale. Why? Rose Byrne. Rose Byrne. That's right. Love Rose Byrne. Yeah, she's great. They're cool. Like, it's cool. Yeah, but that's the problem is, in our minds, they're cool, but they're actors. That's right. Actors known to have some of the worst taste of all time. So you see this guy who's like been in all these great movies. He's a great character actor. He's cool. He's sexy. He's like yummy dad zaddy vibes. And I see, you know, and he's whatever, 55 or some shit, you know. And he's wearing Under Armour set, shorts and shirt matching. Not matching. He's got the matching set, Under Armour, and then on the feet, rip and dip.

High Top Converse. Retail's value is $60. He pulled out the Rip and Dip Converse, which were definitely sent to him for free. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because the thought of Bobby Cotavale going into the Rip and Dip store is a step... I can't believe that. Like going in with his little shithead son and being like, oh, these are kind of cool. That is bad. And it was upsetting. It was a very much... Was he getting it in? He was kind of getting it in. He was doing vanity, like bicep curl kind of shit's going on. But he was, like, focused, looking at himself in the mirror. But it's so hard to see somebody who's like, you're a millionaire. Millions of women want to fuck you. Many of them hot and famous. You went rip and dip on them. And you're wearing rip and dip. So let me get the rip and dips in an eye and a half. You have a cartoon, like... Cat. Cartoon cat drawn on the side of... I mean, I... That makes the Comme des Garcons converse. look like some Bottega boots. I just don't understand. The problem is I think a lot of actors and people in that position, they go into I just wear what they send me mode and do not process that what they send you when you're nominated for an Emmy is very different than what they send you when you're kind of off cycle. I got all these Brixton shirts. They're pretty cool, right? Bobby Cannavale has so much Brixton in his closet. The rip and dip is absolutely twisted. And the worst part is, part of me now, now that I said he got it for free, I think there's a sad reality he could have bought it. Yeah. Like you said, with the son, with the badass little kid. Bring the badass little kid in on Fairfax. I also, like, why don't you have a trainer? Why are you in Equinox? Like, if I'm a celebrity, I'm going to some place that regular people have never heard of. I was surprised when I saw John Mulaney there. Other celebs that I see there, I'm like, okay, it makes sense that you're here. I recognize you. It's not crazy. There's not paps waiting outside in the parking garage for the guy from System of a Down or whatever. But when I saw John Mulaney, you sold out Madison Square Garden three nights in a row.

You make a lot of money. Yeah. I mean, I get the convenience. I mean, obviously, Equinox is appealing for many reasons. I just think if I'm on the show, Melanie, if I have that much bread and I like am going to work out at all, I'm going to be doing that somewhere where people do not have access to me one bit. And I'm with someone who is wildly professional. Yeah. Because he's looking at me, looking at his ripping dips, and he's like, oh, brother. He's probably going to talk about this on How Long Gone. Exactly. He's like, god damn it. I knew this was going to happen. If I only would have done my private session at my Malibu. It's just also like a lot of these guys, and I've learned this from... trainers it's like a lot of these people just have a gym in their house and you just go there it's like cost them 10 grand and they never think about it again it's it's it makes no sense to me because they buy a house and they're like well we have eight bedrooms and i live here alone i guess we can turn one even if it's not a priority for you like why not and i'll post about it and they'll just send me all the equipment for free use it once a week it's still better to have it than not have it i don't i mean but i also understand the comp the compulsion to like want to be a normal person interesting you know where it's like i don't want please call me bobby yeah i don't want everything to be a thing i want to go to equinox and get my parking validated like this doofus over here with weights on his chest normal kink yeah i think that i mean i think that's probably real it's like why people live in new york it's because they can like walk down the street and they're kind of left alone you know sometimes i like to do normal kink as well where do you find that like when we go to the cheesecake factory or something oh i see Or like raisin canes. You know who doesn't like to do normal kink? Me. I have to do it maybe like once a month. I have to go see how most people in the world live. Yeah, I get that. So then it fuels me, it reminds me to don't do that. Yeah, I think that is important to kind of humble yourself. I do that without, you know, like have one night where I get really drunk and hungover.

So my brain's like, oh, don't do that. Don't do that. You can't do that every Thursday. Yeah, exactly. One Thursday a month. You have to know what the sting of normalcy feels like or else your blade will dull. I do that every once in a while when, for a reason beyond my control, Delta One isn't available. So I kind of know what you mean. But the normal kink kind of goes into the rise of dinner parties as content. And what if instead of having this ketamine... fireball shot rager we just like i'm gonna make like crab pasta i the dinner party needs to motherfucking die not not the act of it because it's fun and we all like it but the the dinner party has content these fucking cucked brooklynites posting posting their tablescapes where there's no way that 98 of the food goes into the trash can is mind-blowing to me. It's like a 12-foot by 12-foot table full of cheese and crackers and shrimp and meat. There's no way that 10 hundred-pound chicks are eating all that shit. There's just no way. It feels incredibly wasteful in a way that I'm surprised that people get away with. Obviously, I don't give a shit about waste, but it seems like the people that are doing it are the kind of people who give a shit about waste. And it's also, this isn't not like a Saudi prince wedding where we have to exude abundance and prosperity to our friends and family to signal how wealthy we are. They're kind of doing that, but with just at their friend Stephanie's house, and they went to Trader Joe's and spent $85 on cheese. I have 150,000 followers on Instagram, and I sell ugly glassware from time to time on my stories. And I also really know about charcuterie. It is just because it's for content. That's the only thing. Look, I understand that. I get all of that. But I just think it's a really weird trend. It's a very strange thing that I wouldn't have seen coming. Let me flex on you by showing you how much...

cheap cheese i can buy at trader joe's with a tablecloth i got used maybe it's like a like a trad kind of thing going on where people want to signal how domestic they are and how much like if you if you start having sex with me this is what our our cohabitating family life will be you'll get to have you'll get to have five of my friends come over every weekend to sell dirty converse outside and we'll also have natural wine and a table babe did you buy the eucalyptus eucalyptus stems. I wanted to hang them in the guest bath. I also just don't, I don't know, man. I just don't like, it's also like rich cosplay for sure. Like, let me tell you something. The people that grew up doing that, I know a handful of them. They probably are going to restaurants like normal people. Like we, I did not, my mom does not know how to cook. We never had a table scape. We never had a fucking dinner party and neither did your loser ass. I know you did not. You're from fucking Indianapolis. You did not do this growing up. You learned about this on Bon Appetit. These people just found out about dinner parties when cool people have been having dinner parties the whole time where it's like, hey, come over at eight. I made lasagna. We're going to get drunk. Then we'll smoke some cigarettes and we're going to like talk about stuff openly. And that's it. Yeah. And there's going to be no ring light involved. There's going to be no waiver to sign for usage rights. The red camera slow-mo pan of the table is a little too far. Like, TikTok's resolution isn't even that good. It's like, what's the point? Back then, you go to the dinner party, you put your keys in the jar when you walk in, and now it's like, hey, guys, drone parking's over there. This is our charging station, our drone charging station. If you did bring a 5D, you had to clear that with our stage manager beforehand. It's just – I mean – No off-body flash. We ask you if you wouldn't mind. So we did put 100 Marlboro lights out on the table. We really prefer you not smoke them. It stinks, and it's kind of bad for your lungs and the environment, but they look really pretty. You know what we should make? We should make an ornamental reusable – like you know how they have the plastic candles that are battery-powered that will last forever? Same thing. We'll get –

It'll just be a Heath Ceramics bowl with 100 prop cigarettes in there that you just set up and move out. Fake Marlboro Lights. Yeah, you go to grab them and it's like the Truman Show. It's all set dressing. I also thought that trend would kind of die down a bit because we're not forced to be at home. But it seems like it's going to stick around for a little while. It's going to stick around because we have the ability to... We've been trapped in the crate like Bean, and then Fauci opened the door and said, come on out, and we're like, hmm. We're still putting one paw out. Speak for yourself. So it's the perfect way to socialize with besties without ever having to encounter a stranger. Yeah, you're right. Just the thought of that. I'm not saying this is good. People preferring that to going to a restaurant. is something that I cannot rub my head around because it's also, when you're doing what we're talking about, it costs more. Oh, yeah. A lot more. You have to clean up, and friends are annoying. Yeah, and when you want to leave and have everyone go home and you're about to watch TV and go to sleep, you're not on your time. There's going to be one drunk TJ over in the corner blowing his... Trying to tune a guitar. Almost got a... does this piano actually work it's it just doesn't seem like a it doesn't seem like a good proposition overall even when it's well executed i enjoy it it's no problem i'd still rather go to a restaurant i also don't like when i come over here when we come over here and you make us dinner i enjoy it and it's fun but i also would love to socialize with you more so you're not you know working away in the kitchen that's sweet of you you know what i mean i see you working so hard you got towels everywhere there's Shit on fire. You know what I mean? It's a whole thing. I look like FX is the bear. You look like FX is the bear. You're sweating and shit. I'm so hot. I want Jason to sit down and enjoy a pizza with me. Mm-hmm. You know, I want to break bread. You guys go ahead. I just, I'm just gonna, I have to, I spilled my marinara. Jake Davis, he won't even eat. Mm-hmm. He won't even sit down. He's too busy plating. He's got one hand behind the back, a towel on the front of it. He's like, this is a...

Oh, no, this is just water, but we kind of like to present it this way. And also, if you never leave the house and you never go out into a public restaurant, you won't know if somebody keeps yelling at you from the next table over about Jeremy Piven and Chris D'Elia, you'll have a meltdown. You won't know how to handle it. You won't have the tools. It's like getting in the ring with Jake Paul without ever practicing. Well, I mean, or even a lesser, even KSI. I'm saying if you, even Jake Paul's little cousin, could take you down if you're not experiencing the real life. Yeah, I mean, the complete avoidance of the real world is a... But at the same time, I mean, all these restaurants are fucking packed. So, you know, and that's a problem too. So I don't know what... Basically, we're fucked is what the conclusion is. Speaking of restaurants, I was driving to your house last night on Melrose and there was a restaurant that was new called Baked Wings. Have you seen it? Is this a dispensary slash wing restaurant? I don't know. I know that they probably have wings, but actually, shit, I didn't consider that it was also. Or is it a healthier option because they're baked, not fried? I think that's where I was going. It could be all three. It looks like an Impossible Burger startup-y kind of new concept. There's so much of that stuff that I can't keep track. Yeah, but what stuck out to me, if it was a dispensary slash wing store, then perfectly genius to call it baked wings. And also I feel like a business like that is so indulgent and amazing that it almost can't exist on its own. You know what I mean? Like it's too sick to ever succeed. Yeah, no, I agree. Sometimes we're our own worst enemies. It's like Pete Doherty or something, you know, like you're burning so hot and so perfectly that. It's only a matter of months, not years. As he was described to me recently, the guy who should have joined the 27 Club and didn't. Exactly. No one more deserving. No one who lived an insane life for like three and a half years where it's like, all right, I did it. I'd be happy to die. Damn. I would. I mean, hopefully one day we get Pete on the pod and let's not bring that up. No, I wouldn't. I mean, I'm trying to get Pete on the pod because his book is out, but I'm.

Hitting some walls. Okay. His big Glastonbury performance isn't going to help. You know, I watched some Glastonbury. I did one of my Chris YouTube holes yesterday. Let's put a pin in that. I need to finish my big pin. Oh, I'm sorry. Is there more to this? Well, I was thinking about the name of it. Yeah. And it's like. It's the, it pisses me off when I see restaurants that have such lazy names. It pisses me off, bro. Baked wings, I'm pissed. Like, you're literally just saying, we are a restaurant that sells wings that are baked. What are we going to call it? Hot Wing Cafe, KFC, Popeyes, Louisiana. I'm 100% on the other side of the coin with you. I appreciate the unvarnished honesty. that comes through in a name where it's like, what do we have here? It's right on the wall. Nothing else to talk about. I'm saying I like unvarnished. I like simplicity. But at a certain point, you need something. It can be too unfinished. Is there any sort of mascot? I don't know. But it's a trait where I notice restaurants will have a name that is sort of in the same zone as like... social eating house you know what i mean or like it's just a bunch of word salad that means nothing yeah so it's sort of like that but in a different direction where it's like baked wings or like they're like if you're an asian restaurant that sells like chicken and and uh pork you're gonna call it like the rooster and the pig yeah you know what i mean so And it's like having an Italian restaurant and calling it boiled pasta. Pomodoros. I think that if baked wings is shitty, then it's cool. Yeah, I agree with that. It's like Futures artwork. An agency made the deck for the architectural plan. So this is a ghost kitchen created by a rapper. Yeah.

Okay. Tyga is a small stake investor in this property. He put in $25,000. He's not super liquid. I ate the baked ones. They're just as good as the fried ones. I learned about it on Alison Roman's YouTube. What if Tyga watched Alison? What if Tyga was... Alison's looking at her manifest of her subscribers. She's like, oh, Tyga. That's great. Tyga's like, after the whole Bon Appetit shit went down, you know what I'm saying? I've just struggled to find creators on YouTube that I... That I relate to. I've never been to upstate New York, but this Moonburger shit does look cool. Moonburger. After the botulism scare on the fermentation show, I haven't been able to sleep a wink. I find cooking to be meditative when I'm going through it with bae. Also, shout out to Carla Lolly Music's husband who listened to this show. I'm sending you a dog whistle. She's a Bon Appetit alumni as well. Oh, I didn't know that. We'll get her on the pod now. We're starting to get more chefs. Oh, great. I can't wait. Don't act like you don't like it. So why do you do this again? It seems terrible. Do you make more money than I realize? Oh, okay. That's cool. The answer is yes. Yeah, that's okay. Okay. Can you not send me six desserts and instead send me an appetizer? No, it's the same as what, you know, like, hey, I have a line cook. that I pay very well at this restaurant, but they left because they're going to go be Tyga's private chef in Malibu, and they're going to make six figures instead of 20 bucks an hour, you know? It's the same thing for, like, why would I just kill myself in the back of some Lower East Side restaurant when I can just buy a camera and go on YouTube and be like, what up, motherfuckers? Don't talk about the closing of Mission Chinese like that, okay? Ooh. yeah it took a while for mission chinese to close i mean once you move to bushwick you're closed so it was like two years ago when when all the stuff came out about it being a toxic environment and then he said like i i i grew up in a toxic environment so i'm also being toxic sorry at least i mean his outfits are toxic but no i mean i just like i don't like i with food stuff with with food stuff it's like

It seems like... I've never worked in a kitchen, but it seems like that's just kind of what it is. And if the food is good, I don't care who's getting yelled at, personally. I don't give a shit. I agree. If they're not playing hip-hop and the food is good, I'm happy. Yeah, Jar had no music playing. So sick. Just the sound of clinking Merlots. I want a restaurant. I want there to be a restaurant that exists that is cool and for young people. And it's hard to get a table. But it's actually... Like, regular food, no music, good service. If only we had the time to become restauranteurs and the working capital. I mean, we could raise money to open a restaurant just from private investors, but... I don't want that smoke, personally. It seems like a fool's errand. It does, man. And I would maybe put money into a project if they could guarantee me no music. Yeah, nowadays, what is the best way to make money in food? Everything is so hard. Ice cream? Yeah. No, I think it's having a brand and being able to do real CPG, like we're in all the grocery stores. Like my shit? got bought by nestle like van lewin like it's like all right we have all these stores they're popping but we also have all of the pints in every regular ass grocery store not like erwan like we're in ralph's that to me seems pretty good i think having a hot restaurant for two or three years you can make a lot of fucking bread you can you know and then you got to get out but there's no way allowed yeah just i mean it can I guess. But any place that's been around for 20 or 30 years, it's like, you know, there's going to be ups and downs. But no one can open just one restaurant. You know that. Like, no one can just stop. They have to put another million dollars into some bomb that nobody wanted because they were feeling themselves. We got to scale. We got to do our Vegas restaurant. I get it. I mean, I get the impulse, of course. Like, once you know how to do it, it's like, fuck it. All right. It's like renovating houses. That's where I got into flipping. It's like, all right, I figured out how to do this. I guess I'm just going to keep doing it.

Man, because it sounds so fun and it looks so exciting when you think you know what works and what's going to be good. When we were in Prime Seafood Palace with Maddie a week before it opened, electric energy. I was like, this is sick. I love this. I love it. Being in here, everybody's nice. Everybody's excited. The vibe is good. I had to throw up. But then you open the doors and it's a bunch of fucking mouth breathers complaining about everything and not tipping enough. And then the dream's over. Place is beautiful though. No calls, no shows. Exactly. I got to charge your Resi 25. Oh, not the 25 on Resi. So I had the Haley Bieber smoothie. Congratulations. From Equinox. Welcome to the club. I bought two of them. One for me, one for my life partner. It was $34 total. Okay. Is that a problem for you? It's not a problem. They accept Apple Pay, right? It was a little – I mean because the problem is I'm okay with buying an $18 smoothie from Sun Life because here's the expensive shit that's inside of it. The ingredient list is arguably so long I can't finish it. Show me the value and I understand it. The Harry Beaver smoothie, you're paying $12 for the smoothie and extra $5 for the name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Harry's Bears are not cheap. I get that. I think that for me it was more of a I love to support beautiful white women. You know, that's like an investment kind of in that. You know what I mean? I don't think, do you think Haley gets a dollar off of each smoothie? I wonder how good the deal is. I think she paid to do that as promotion for the skincare. Yeah, I think it's a skincare thing. But what did you think? Because I only had three or four sips, you know. That's all I wanted. It was a good, oh, I, of course, drank all $18 of that thing. Straw on the bottom. Just because you had to get your money's worth? Tapping the bottom of the cup. It spilled on your face because you kept tapping it? Mm-hmm. The tongue's all running on the inside of it like a dog bowl. I think it was an overcorrection of crazy smoothies. You're saying... You have breaking news coming in? I thought so. Sorry. It was an alert from my Google Home. Oh, shit. Damn, okay. I feel like you. I'm under swag.

Camera two. It's just a cat. Never mind. Camera two, camera two, camera two, camera two. Go, go, go, go, go. So all these expensive smoothies, they kind of taste challenging. Like, oh, it's yummy, but it's also like it's yummy because it's like stevia and almond butter and like a blueberry, but it has to step on blue, green, algae, turmeric, all this bitter, nasty, but very expensive and good for you stuff. And Haley was just like, me like strawberry, me like banana. Smoothie tastes yummy. That, to me, is the beauty of the whole thing. I think the maple syrup was a step too far. I agree with that. And I talked to a friend of the show, Lonnie, about it, and she was like, I took all the sweet shit out, and it was pretty good, but then texted me 30 minutes later saying it did upset her stomach. Oh, no. But I think she has an issue with smoothies. Yeah, I mean, warm strawberries, after it sits for a while, it can be a little tough. I don't think, but I think that was a perfect limited menu item. I think so, too. It was fun. And what I also realized what this product is, and it should just go on the menu forever, or at least have it be bestowed to the next young hottie that can put their name onto it. Thank you. Maybe next time a person of color would be nice. At Erwan? At Erwan. But it was basically like you have the Starbucks pink drink, which is like $4, and it's like strawberry juice with ice in it. Erewhon's like, we just did the McLaren version of that. That's true. That's a good point. So when you're very rich and you go to your Catholic school or whatever it is, your private Catholic school in Los Feliz, and you don't want to look like a broke hoe at Starbucks or Starbucks Reserve, you have the Erewhon smoothie to the show. Because I think the pink Erewhon smoothie is a nice complement to the kind of a little bit dirty Astroworld hoodie. So it's kind of perfect. It's high-low, the scuffed-up Yeezy slide. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. The scuffed-up Yeezy slide with the Asterold hoodie and the Hailey Bieber smoothie, that's hot. That's wifey. That's hot. Let's talk about you're going on a trip this week, Chris. You were supposed to go on a trip, and then Air Magadden hit you this weekend. Thanks to the...

regular americans traveling during july 4th my flight was canceled and i was unable to make my sojourn yeah and everyone coming back from paris fashion week i heard i saw 50 of bags were lost i actually this prompted me to do something i didn't think i would do but i bought we bought the apple air tags for the suitcase and i didn't know because everyone's losing their luggage i'm like i i this is Let me just buy these because I didn't know how it worked. They're $29 and the battery lasts for two years. So you just put it in the suitcase and you never think about it again. It's pretty cool. But the problem is it's being used for nefarious reasons. Sure, of course. But the fact that I hid one in your truck like a bomb is not something we need to discuss here. Yeah, I just saw a tweet thread about... Yeah, it's bad. I forgot where she was at. She was at some public event or something, and somebody went up behind her and put one in her bag. Yeah. No, it's definitely... But I think they're trying to correct it, and Apple's showing you, like, hey... Just to let you know you're being tracked right now. I think you can get alerted. But it's a very cool product. It was really easy to set up. It's smart. But just I would only use it for that purpose. Like keys, I'm not going to ruin my Bottega keychain look. I'll just take the L. To me, it's like when you were just talking about the Google Cam or the Nest Cam or whatever, the Ring Cam. It's like a thing that you get for peace of mind like that or the citizen app or whatever it is. It doesn't really do anything. But it's just another thing for you to check and be paranoid about. And it's tough because like when I go on vacation. And I'm in Italy on the other side of the world, and I look at my phone, and it's just like, bing, camera one, camera three, camera two, camera three. Mailman's here. I won't do that. This, to me, is not that because it's completely passive. I will never look at it unless my bag is lost. I would never look at it unless the bag is lost. It's not like a thing you need an update on. I wonder if it's – yeah, and also it's just like another thing that's tracking us. Yeah, I don't care. Fuck me. Pick that data. But anyway, yes, I am going on a little –

12-hour solo trip to one of the greatest cities in our beautiful country, Jason. Las Vegas, Nevada. Las Vegas, baby. So I was looking at Nick Weidenfeld's stories this morning and saw that Morrissey – I knew this was happening. I kind of forgot about Morrissey's doing a week-long kind of residency at Caesars. And I said, you know what? Say less, Morrissey. Say less. And I went on and I copped a ticket and I copped a nice – I'm surprised there's still tickets available. Lots of tickets. I mean, I think it's like – I just think it's one of those things where it's like, it's a little bit of a, if it was in LA, there wouldn't be. But because it's Vegas, it's like a little more. But the flight from Burbank to Vegas, you know that one, Jason. That's a classic DJ flight. Cheap and cheerful. Hotel paid for by points. Tears, sing-alonger zone. And you could also maybe fly JSX private over there. I was going to do that, but it was like 850. Oh, no. And I'm like, not for this. Like, I don't care. I'm going alone. I'm going for 12. I don't care. Don't worry. The next time, the next JSX flight we take, we'll be on the house. We might have to talk about it a little bit on the show. That's fine with me. I just was like, it's not worth it for this. I don't actually care. When we zip up to Carmel or something. That's more my speed. I'm going to figure out where to have a nice solo meal, go see Morrissey alone, and then wake up the next day and get the fuck out of there. That sounds nice, man. I mean, it's just like... Little craps, maybe? I don't gamble. Indoor smoking? Maybe one. It's nice to do an indoor smoking in Vegas. I just don't... Actually, last time I was in Las Vegas, I was with my friend Russell from the UK, and we saw Aerosmith. This is a little bit of an upgrade from that quality-wise, but I like to continue my live music in Vegas kind of theme. The house that music built. Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? I would have gone to Adele if I had an extra $40,000 and she'd cancel it, but here we are. Morrissey's $100 plus fees. Which seems very cheap, man. Nick was like, it's good. He was good.

Sounded good. I'm going to ask Chris Chang to go ahead and buy me all the flowers that he picks out. Is it peonies that Marcy uses? He's kind of down for whatever. I've heard that you have to get one specific flower. It might be peonies. There's all the videos, though, where he's got the bouquet. That's not a specific flower, historically. Maybe I'm wrong. You might be wrong, honey. We're going to find out. Dolls, sound off in the comments. Yeah, please. All right, Chris. Thank you guys for listening. Hope everyone has a great beep of July. What is the – let's see what's going on this week on how long gone. I'm barbecuing this weekend, bro. That's all we're doing. And if you see me posting sponsored content for a great canned alcoholic beverage company. Smash that comment button. Smash the like. Jason, I'm pulling out the new digital today to kind of get some content for Jason. We're going to see what that Ryko can do. Double tap it. Hit me with a, that looks so yummy. Me so thirsty. I want to slurp it up. Jason's thirst traps are actually just drinks. It's kind of smart when you think about it. The shirt stays on. Shirt stays on. Pop stays. Oh, I didn't see you there. I was just enjoying my lo-fi Aperol Spritz. Oh, Chris, I didn't see you. No, no, no. Serve it over ice. Oh. Hashtag lo-fi. What moves you? You got to crack and pour it. What moves you feels like my line from the RealReal commercial. Okay, how long gone? Yeah, if anyone has the RealReal commercial with Chris in it, send it to me. We can't seem to find it. We pay for our Hulu without ads. It's kind of a problem where you're trying to see yourself. uh you know but anyway yeah how long gone uh we're back next week with with uh more excellent podcasts and uh we will talk to you soon bye-bye

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